Poetry

Hope for the New Year

We’ve made it to 2019. Can you remember what you wanted to happen December 31st, 2017 for the new year? I do, and even though it didn’t come to me the way I expected, it was necessary for my growth as a woman.

I prayed for knowledge and wisdom…and with the things that had taken place in 2018, God supplied me with my request. I was broken down last year, (feels weird to say you know, since last year was literally a few days ago) only to hopefully be built back up in the year of 2019. I have learned so many lessons, realized the inadequacies in my personality, and tried to alleviate pain that has been caused by past trauma or hurt that still gets a reaction out of me.

This year, I do continue to pray for knowledge and wisdom (maybe in a less aggressive fashion), but I also am adding on a few other things.

  1. I pray for organization. I pray that I set a plan and that I stick to it.
  2. I want my faith in God to grow. Not to get all preachy, but without him, I would not be where I am now. In 2018, I didn’t rely on the Lord as much as I should have. I didn’t pray as much as I could have. I guess I progressed from 2017. For most of that year, I thought God hated me, which was a ludicrous thought of mine now that I think about it.
  3. I want to read more. I used to love reading, and I want to reconnect with the positives that I used to exhibit.
  4. I want to manifest my goals, dreams, and aspirations more. I got started towards the end of the year, and I want to make sure that I bring the art of manifestation with me in the new year.
  5. I want to write in my journal daily. Writing is my personal form of therapy. Most of us don’t have a psychologist at the ready, but a pen and a piece of paper might be more accessible. I couldn’t wait to scribble on the pages, but I bought a yellow notebook for the new year to write down my thoughts, dreams, grievances, and my endless rants on things that will probably mean nothing in about a year or so.
  6. I want to move forward in everything that I am apart of. I work at my school news station, as well as being involved in NACWC (National Association of Colored Women’s Club Incorporated), and this here blog. I want to work harder and move up the ranks in my positions. When it comes to blogging, I want to write more. I feel like my posts are a bit sporadic, and going back to me wanting to be more organized, I hope to create a posting schedule.
  7. I want to start doing yoga and going to the gym. I need to get my exercise regimen together for this year. Exercise releases dopamine, and my 2019 needs to be full of all that.
  8. I want to learn how to sew and cook. My Mother called me down earlier today to look over some old birthday, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day cards. I found one that I gave to my Mother. I was eight-years-old, it was homemade…it wasn’t the prettiest, but it had a lot of heart. It was a Mother’s Day card, and inside it was me singing high praises to my Mother (as I should because my Mother is the most amazing person on the planet). In one of the lines, I say that I want her to teach me how to cook and sew. These are two things that my Mom knew how to do that I admired. Since I was thinking about learning, and I saw my younger self wanting to learn more…I think that this would be the perfect year to pick up a new hobby.

Of course, I have a whole list of things I want to happen this year (I may post the full list later on) but ultimately, the main thing I want is happiness. I guess I really didn’t have to list all eight of those New Year’s resolutions…all of them result in happiness on my end.

I want to be the woman my ten year old self never thought I would be. If you have read any of my other posts, I am a big fanatic of self love and self care. I started getting that into the end of the 2018 year, and I want 2019 to be full of it. Now, with that being said, 2019 can’t just be self care. I will continue talking to a therapist. There are some things that I still have to work out, and I’m not just going to just throw it under the rug and let it fester. I don’t want the progress that I’ve made to go to waste. I can feel it…2019 is my year.

 

 

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